Silence

April 4, 2025

I think I’m broken.

I can no longer code with music.

I don’t remember which podcast episode or blog post inspired me to try working in complete silence.
Maybe it was pitched as a mindfulness challenge - a way to practice being alone with your own thoughts.

So I swapped out my headphones for… nothing.
Just keystrokes. Breathing. Fan noise. Silence.

At first, it was difficult.

To be honest, the only reason I survived it was because:

1. As a rule, I rarely ever use my phone in my workspace.
2. I used Spotify on my Mac, but then, as if in a grand conspiracy, my Mac started lagging with too many tabs and background apps.

In a bid to reduce the load, I cut out Spotify entirely. (It still lagged - but hey, at least I was building a new habit.)

Now, nearly a year later…

I’ve got a new Mac.
M4. No lag. Gorgeous sound.
Naturally, I wanted to celebrate: spin that baby around, flaunt the speakers, and work to music like the good old days.

But something strange happened.

The music felt… disruptive.
Painful, even.
It affected my productivity.

And sure, I could rebuild the habit of working with sound.

But now I find myself asking:
Why?

Maybe silence is not just empty space.
Maybe it became my tool.

Signed,
Someone who has embraced the quiet life.